Idioms
by DapperDestruction
Summary: A series of short drabbles about phrases the Winchesters use that clearly confuse Castiel. Mostly centered around Dean and Castiel. It's only Destiel if you squint.
1. A Slap on the Wrist

"Dean, you should have consulted me before you went after the poltergeist. If you had done so, you would not come so close to losing," Castiel scolded as the three recovered in the motel room. Well, Sam and Dean recovered. Castiel stood as the side of the large bed, where Sam laid out on one side, exhausted, and Dean sat on the edge, facing the angel.

Dean leaned over on his knees, digging the heels of his hands into his eyes and looked up at Castiel, frowning. "Yeah, give me a slap on the wrist, Cass. I will next time," he said, gesturing vaguely and presenting his wrist.

Castiel looked at Dean, eyebrows pinching together, then glanced down at Dean's hand. He grabbed Dean's hand and flipped it over, revealing the sensitive underside. He glanced back at Dean's face, which was confused, before slapping it lightly with two fingers.

Dean made a strangled noise in his throat and looked at Castiel with the most curious of expressions and then let out his breath in a whoosh and hung his head. On the bed beside him, Sam began to laugh uncontrollably.

"What?"


	2. All Bark and no Bite

"You will tell us how you killed those people, or I will send you straight back to Hell, demon," Castiel threatened.

This demon was different, Dean knew. Threatening wouldn't really do much except scare him and make him clam up even more, which is what he saw happening right then. He felt the need to intervene.

"Hey, hey. You know what? How about we make some sort of deal, talk this out nicely," he said, slapping on a big fake grin. Of course, first opportunity he got, he was sinking his demon blade into the guy's throat. But he didn't have to know that.

Beside him, Castiel turned his head, tilting it to the side curiously. "Dean-" he started, but Dean cut him off, fake smile still plastered across his face.

"Don't worry about him, he's all bark and no bite."

"Dean…" Castiel's brow creased in confusion, "I do not bark… not do I bite, unless completely necessary."

Dean looked blankly at the angel beside him and shook his head, rubbing his face in frustration. "Hey, Cass, Whaddya say you let me handle this one?"

Castiel stares at Dean for a long moment, obviously still confused, then glanced at the demon. His head tilted ever so slightly then there was a rustle of wings and he was gone.


	3. In the Same Boat

"What the hell was that thing?"

Dean put his hands up placatingly when the woman (what was her name? Janette? Yeah) demanded the info of him. "Hey, lady, calm down," he said distractedly as he scoured the cabinets and hit the jackpot.

He grabbed the two big containers of salt out, holding them up like prizes. "Sammy," he called to get his brother's attention before he tossed one of the containers to him. Sam immediately began to draw a line of salt across the door while Dean went to the window sill and covered it sloppily.

"Cass?" he called, looking around the empty room. There was a flutter of wings and by Janette's squeak of surprise, he guessed that Cass had popped in right in front of him.

"Dean," the angel greeted, then looked around the room and nodded to the two others, "Sam. Janette."

"How do you know my name?" she demanded.

"Angel," Sam said gruffly, and Castiel looked over at the younger Winchester.

Janette scrunched up her nose and gave Castiel a once over. Dean watched, amused, even though now was really no time for amusement. But, still. Cass never failed to amuse him when he interacted with normal people.

"Shouldn't he be more…. angelic?"

"Amen, sister!" Dean said enthusiastically, gaining a tilted head from Castiel, to which he grinned and promptly ignored. "That's what I said when we first met. Seems like we're in the same boat."

"Dean… we are not on a boat. We are in the desert. In Utah. There is not a significant water source for over 200 miles," Castiel said, looking at Dean with that confused expression he wore so often.

Dean's mouth just dropped open, at a loss for words. "….Really, Cass?" he asked and shook his head.

"Yeaaaahhhh," Janette said, drawing out the word and casting a side long glance at Castiel warily before looking back at the Winchesters, who now stood side by side. "I believe you."


	4. Like an Angel

It had been weeks since Sam had a nightmare-free night. His memories had been coming back more and more from the year he spent without a soul, and Dean could tell it was tearing him up. It was almost as bad as it had been right after Jess had died. Anytime Dean woke up in the middle of the night, Sam was up, either watching TV quietly or glued to his laptop or not even in the room at all. Or he was tossing and turning and muttering things under his breath.

It hurt Dean to see his brother like that, so after particularly trying job, he'd decided they needed a night out at the bar. Sam had a little more than usual and now he was conked out in bed. Dean was still nursing a bottle of beer in the corner at the table, eyes on his brother's peaceful form.

His gaze was only torn away from his brother when he heard the slight rustle of wings and Castiel appeared next to him.

"Hello, Dean," he said softly.

Dean nodded at the angel and then turned back to Sam, watching him silently. After a few moments, Castiel glanced at Sam, then back to Dean.

"What are you doing?"

"He hasn't moved for a half hour, first time in weeks. The kid's sleepin' like an angel," Dean said and gestured to his sleeping brother with his beet bottle, a small smile playing across his lips.

Castiel was silent for a moment before speaking. "Angels do not sleep, Dean," he said, looking over at the man.

Dean looked up at Castiel and furrowed his brows. He snorted and rolled his eyes, standing and stretching. "I'm gonna hit the hay," he said as he undid his belt buckle. He dropped his pants and kicked them about a foot away, leaving him in just his boxers and a t-shirt. He crawled into his bed and glanced back at Castiel, just then beginning to wonder why the angel had appeared.

It apparently wasn't too important, since Cass was just staring at him, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Dean smirked and rolled over so his back was to Cass.

"G'night, Cass," he said just and heard the fluttering of wings as Castiel disappeared.

A/N: I'd like to thank everyone who's been reading and reviewing! You have a lot more to look forward to, I assure you. I've got the ideas for about 20 more chapters laid out. If you have any ideas for phrases or particular situations you want, tell me!


	5. It's all Greek to Me

It took almost two damn hours of searching throughout Bobby's storage for Dean and Sam to find a damn sheep's heart. It was all shriveled and gross and if Cass hadn't snatched it away from Dean as soon as he picked it up, he wouldn't have even known what it was.

"Oo de re ah je ne aka ral ta jah na dem eh ke le re ja na pa la pa ee re goo," Castiel chanted over the bowl of ingredients for the spell.

The woman they'd rescued, Jennifer, stood silently between Sam and Dean as Castiel flicked his wrist and the bowl caught on fire. "What is he saying?" she whispered, eyes wide and voice frightful.

Dean shrugged and looked down at her. "Don't ask me. It's all Greek to me," he said.

Castiel sighed as he took a step back from the bowl and glanced at Dean. "I was speaking Enochian, Dean…" he said, brow furrowing in confusion.

Dean sighed and rolled his eyes. "Angels…" he muttered.


	6. In the Buff

Dean hummed under his breath as he brushed his teeth, an old AC/DC tune that had been stuck in his head for a few days now. He knew he had it on a mix tape somewhere and decided he'd have to figure out where it was later that day.

He leaned over the sink to spit out the toothpaste in his mouth. He cupped his hand under the faucet and brought a handful of water up to his mouth, swishing it around before spitting it back out and wiping his hand on the towel around his waist. Just as he turned the faucet knob and the water flow ceased, he heard a slight fluttering behind him. He looked up in the mirror and jumped when he saw Castiel standing behind him, practically on his ass.

He inhaled sharply at the surprise and slapped his hand on the counter as he straightened up. "Dude!" he exclaimed, whirling around to face the angel, who stood less than a foot away from him. "First off, personal space," he said and reached his hand out, pressing his palm to Cass' chest and pushing him back a step, "Second, I'm in the buff, man!"

Castiel tilted his head slightly, brows furrowing in confusion. His eyes searched Dean's for a moment before shifting down, taking in his bare chest and the towel around his waist before trailing back up to his face.

"I do not know what that means. But, if you are referring to your state of dress, I apologize," he said. With that, Castiel promptly turned around and walked through the door, into the main section of their motel room.

"Hey, Dean-Oh, hi…. Cass," Dean heard Sam's confused greeting as the door closed behind Castiel.

Dean sighed heavily and shook his head, dropping the towel and snatching his underwear off the floor to put on.


End file.
